Category Archives: Affirmations

We Were Made for This – a thank you to Clarissa

Adapted from Clarissa Pinkola Estes – ‘We were made for this’

I recently returned from a silent solo retreat, where the words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes kept circling around in my head. I had no wifi or any of the usual distractions, so I reached for pen and paper and wrote the words down. Even though I have read her prose several times in the last 20 years, I was surprised at how much I remembered of “We Were Made For This”. I am publishing this on my blog exactly as I penned it as I sat in my little cabin in the Brecon Beacons. I send this out with love and good wishes to all who have seen glaring wrongs that need to be righted and have felt diminished by the seeming immensity of this task. 

‘For some of us, these times seem too dark to ever see light again. The immense challenge of correcting the imbalances and of righting the wrongs seem too great to take on. But, I would like to take your hands for a moment and assure you that you are built well for these times. Despite your pangs of doubt, your frustrations in a-righting all that needs change right now, or even your feelings that you have lost the map entirely, you are not without resource, and you are not alone.

Look out over the choppy water; there are millions of righteous souls on the waters with you. Take heart; you are not alone.

We have been in training for dark times such as this for a long time.  For many decades, worldwide, souls just like us have been put down, metaphorically or literally, left for dead in so many ways over and over — brought down by naiveté, by lack of love, by being ambushed and assaulted by those following the wrong star and being convinced following any other is grounds for persecution, and by various personal shocks and heartbreaks over time. All of this, and more, can be overcome.

We all have a heritage and history of being gutted, and yet remember this especially … we have also, of necessity, perfected the knack of resurrection.

Over and over again haven’t we been the living proof that that which has been exiled, lost, or demeaned – can be restored to life again? This is as true and sturdy a prognosis for the wounded world around us as it was for our own wounded selves.

…Though we are not invulnerable, our resilience and strength  supports us to laugh in the face of cynics who say “fat chance,” and “management before mercy,” and other evidences of complete absence of soul sense. This, and our having been ‘to Hell and back’ on at least one momentous occasion, makes us seasoned vessels for certain. Even if you do not feel that you are, you are.

Even if your puny little ego wants to contest the enormity of your soul being up for the challenge,  the smaller self can never for long subordinate the larger Self. In matters of huge importance and life purpose,  you have surpassed the benchmarks many times. Believe the evidence of any one of your past challenges and trials. Here it is: Are you still standing? The answer is, Yes! Yes, you are…even if you feel a weariness….yes, you are still standing.  If you are still standing, ragged flags or not, you are able. Thus, you have passed the bar. And even raised it. You are seaworthy.

…In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward overwhelm with how much is wrong in the world. Do not focus on that. Do not make yourself ill with overwhelm. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by putting your awareness on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is “spending the wind without raising the sails.” It is a waste of your energy and will not be helpful for you or us.

We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. You have all the resource you need to ride any wave, to surface from any trough. Our job, our opportunity, is to sail forward now.

One of the most important steps you can take to help calm the storm is to not allow yourself to be taken in a flurry of overwrought emotion or despair – thereby accidentally contributing to the swale and the swirl. Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.

Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely.

It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts – adding, continuing – until the accumulation of these acts tips the scales towards goodness. We know that it does not take “everyone on Earth” to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your light. Your goodness, your light, can be what encourages another to show their light. And so it goes.

To display the light of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both — are acts of immense bravery and great necessity. Disheartened souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the bravest things you can do.

…There will always be times in the midst of “success right around the corner, but as yet still unseen” when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. I acknowledge the sadness, this sense of being disheartened. Then I remember Who I am, perhaps connect with my Source as well as other good souls, and continue.’

In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: “When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But … that is not what great ships are built for.”

Mental Outlook – One of the Four Pillars of Health

Be the type of person you want to meetSince you are the only one that thinks inside your head, it would seem that choosing positive thoughts and creating good healthy mental patterns would be quite easy. But for any of us who have tried to walk this path and create thoughts, behaviors, and habits that lead to the life we want to manifest, we all know that it’s not always as easy as it sounds. Despite our best intentions,  at times we get engulfed in the negative story line.

Besides going through emotional upsets and even traumas in each of our respective lives, as a species we also have a negativity bias built into our brains that makes it easier to lean towards the negative. Indeed, left to our own devices, we all tend to put more weight on the negative than the positive in our lives. Yes, we can get a nice warm glow when someone gives us a sincere compliment or praises our achievements. But where is the residual value of this praise if we are wounded so easily by criticism or a harsh word by an unmindful, thoughtless person? Think of how easy it is to allow a negative story line to spiral out of control in our minds until we are convinced that we are not loveable or worthwhile. It often doesn’t take much for us to sink to a low depth in our self esteem.

You can devote some time to doing things that make you feel good, that make you laugh, that give you a high. But those same demons will sneak in the back door as soon as something goes very wrong, or someone decides to take their frustration or own low self esteem out on you. The yo-yo method of Mental Outlook doesn’t work any better than the yo-yo method of dieting. We swing from “vine to vine”, looking for something else (we’re not sure exactly what) because we don’t see we are already whole and complete as we are right now. We have to wake up and tune into this.

What really helps take you further down the path of love and acceptance is a conscious choice, then being willing to do the work to make this happen. Geeze,,,,it’s like so many other things, eh? Even a positive mental outlook takes work, a bit of mental and spiritual weigh-lifting. This is not because we are lacking in any way, but most of us have learned what we know and believe from others, who had their own wounds and issues to work out. “Unearthing” the richness of who we are and what we have to offer takes work mainly because we have to get rid of the unnecessary baggage before we can dive deep. It is simply part of our life’s work to discover first hand what is true for us and not just blindly accept another’s blueprint for our life.

For me, a meditation and yoga practice is important for clearing the clutter in my mind and tuning in but there are other practices that can be just as valuable, including Tai’ Chi and Qi gong (pronounced Chi Gong).  I believe a spiritual practice of some sort – whatever that is for you – is important for a sense of fulfilment and vitality. Does the word “spiritual” bother you?  Then pick another word.  But a practice where you can quiet the mind and stop the chaos, and feel a part of something greater than just yourself and your problems is crucial for good health.  This positive spiritual practice will help you plug into things that really nourish and recharge you.  You must nourish yourself, otherwise it won’t take long for you to become depleted. Even if your time is limited, you can set priorities and let something go so you can have a mini-break and recover. You only have 30 minutes while the baby sleeps? Spend it meditating instead of watching some silly TV program. The meditation will leave you more calm and refreshed than the TV. Remember that you can only do one thing at a time well, whatever the hype is about “multi-tasking”. If you try to open up too many windows on your computer, what happens?  It crashes! So will you. Get calm, close some windows, take a deep breath, and focus on the one thing you need to do in front of you. When that is done, you can move on to the next thing. Work on one “window” at a time.

By now, we’ve all heard how important a positive attitude is for health and happiness, and more than likely you’ve incorporated some of this sage advice into your life already. If so, good for you!  If not, don’t take my word for it – just commit to adding some positive practices, such as positive affirmations and a gratitude journal, yoga, meditation, etc. into your life every day for one month, and then see if your life improves. If it doesn’t you’ve lost nothing.  But you will never know that life can be so much better if you don’t give it a try.

Suggestions to get started:

  • Commit to devoting time to becoming the person you want to be. Writing an agreement with yourself is good, or teaming up with a good friend can also be beneficial. It is not easy to stay the course on your own if you have no experience with this. Work out one or two small steps to begin in the direction of your goal (even if the goal is just a vague idea like “I want to be a better person”). You can get more specific after you begin and get more clear on what is important to you.
  • Start small, and add to this as you have some success. Meditate for a few minutes (10 is good, then add more time.), write in a gratitude journal every day for 30 days without fail, look at yourself in the eyes every morning and say something positive. 
  • Practice mindfulness. Try “closing all the Windows” and being present – to the activity you are doing, to the person you are with, to the feelings you are having. Notice the next breath and place your full attention on this. Place your focus on the sensations in your body….is your jaw tight, are you slouching, are you warm or cool, is there discomfort anywhere in your body? Tune in and really feel what is happening for a few moments. It can start this small, but be fully present to what is happening now.
  • Bring more positive people in your life. Spend more time with the ones you already know. Limit your time with people who bring you down, make you doubt yourself. Don’t waste your precious time with people who want to tear you down.
  •  Be persistent but kind to yourself. Don’t immediately think, “I’m no good at this” when you try meditation and your mind is all over the place. If you had to fly a jet plane, you would probably not feel confident your first try. So just show up for it, no matter what happens. Be present for the chaos, for the calm, for the anger, and for the happiness. No judgement.

Feel free to let me know how you do with this, or for that matter, how you feel about this post.

 

Affirmations and The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction still gets lots of attention these days, originally becoming well-known via the 90’s film, “The Secret”. I think the law is real but very misunderstood. Most people have a superficial understanding of it. Most people I talk to about it think that if they sit and visualize what they want long enough and vividly enough, it will happen. That’s wrong. That’s magical thinking. If you have any unconscious beliefs about what you want, those unconscious beliefs will cancel your visualizing efforts. You have to rid yourself of your mental interference before you can attract what you focus on.

In other words, you attract what you believe (often unconsciously), not what your conscious mind states. The Law of Attraction works, but it matches your inner beliefs and expectations. For example, if you state you want more money in your life, but unconsciously think money isn’t spiritual or you are undeserving, you will not manifest more money. You will not see the ideas for making money that others can sometimes see.  Your blinders will prevent it. Then you will say affirmations and The Law of Attraction is rubbish; that the Law doesn’t work. But it is working.  You are getting what you really believe. You must get clear of these limiting beliefs first, which requires knowing yourself very well.

It simply is not true that you do not have to do anything, just visualize something and it will appear. Visualizing is indeed important, but that is what leads you to take an action. I do believe that stating an intention is a very powerful thing, and that by doing this events can seem to rearrange to help you attract your intention. But things just don’t appear out of nowhere. Life is a co-creation, and generally you have to do something once the opportunity presents itself. Action is a crucial part of the process. Believing that you just think it and it appears is a form of self delusion and ultimately, self sabotage.

You attract things by thinking about what you want and allowing your mind to see opportunities and then acting on them. The action part is very important. But the more you can remove the limiting beliefs that filter out what your see, the more you will see the opportunities that were probably there all along. People take action – or not – based on what they believe. Beliefs create our reality. If you want more opportunity and goodness in your life, take the time and do the work to clear your limiting beliefs about yourself and your world. Then, your actions will seem natural and effortless and you will see real magic in your life.