Not long ago was the four year anniversary of my dearly loved sister’s death. This prompted lots of thought about death in general, including my own death and the death of other people I love.
Lots has changed regarding how I think of death now as compared to when I was young. While in my 20’s, there was often a swift thought in the back of my mind that coloured everything I did or even thought about doing. This thought was different versions of “Hey – you’re going to die anyway, so what difference does anything you do make? You’re just going to die anyway, so why bother?” I remember being in French class thinking, “I’m just going to die anyway, so who cares if I ever learn French?” I would dabble in yoga, and even though I enjoyed it, still this sentence was there….”what difference does this make”. Of course it didn’t stop me from living life, but it definitely put a damper on things.
Over a period of time, thoughts like these started to shift for me. I started having experiences and insights that began to illuminate for me that life is actually ongoing….that when someone “dies”, that death is an illusion because life is eternal. Can I tell you exactly what happened that was the catalyst for this change in thinking? Not in a couple of paragraphs. But even before I started an ongoing meditation practice, and after I proclaimed myself an agnostic, I had experiences that began to demonstrate to me that this continuation of life after one dies made far more sense to me than clinging to a belief that this human life is all there is.
When I discuss this with friends or family, there is a reluctance to open up and let ideas really flow about the eternal nature of life. Perhaps this is because so many zany faiths have told so many lies and made belief seem ridiculous. I remember telling someone after a particularly horrendous incident had occurred who was trying to comfort me with some statement about “God’s will” that any God who would allow such a thing to happen was a sadistic prick so it was better for Him that I didn’t believe in Him. Yes, it shocked the poor soul who was trying to comfort me – I’m sure that was my intention. Keeping in mind the huge deceptions that many religions have put out there regarding “God”, not to mention the many atrocities committed in his name, it’s not hard to see why a thinking, caring person would decide God doesn’t exist. I no longer believe that God doesn’t exist but I do not define God in the same way as my early training defined God. In truth I no longer believe that defining God or debating the existence of God is important or even helpful. My direct experience of the God of my understanding through seeking a more spiritual life has been helpful and illuminating; dogma has never helped or illuminated me in any way.
Death is an illusion – it is not real. It can be awkward to talk openly about this, probably because there are a few religions saying the same thing that also say lots of other things I cannot align with. However, over the course of my life I have had experiences and received insights which began to illuminate for me the fact that life is on-going and eternal. What looks like death is an illusion; your existence continues after death as you shed your body like an old set of clothes. The simple shift of perspective from death is the end of my existence to death is the continuation of my existence has made a huge difference for me. Suddenly it makes so much sense to get involved and participate in life, and the more involved I get the more interested and curious I get. Life has become more meaningful and even more fun for me with this consciousness of life. This realization of the continuation of life has brought me intimately close to the interconnectedness of all life in a way that my former unquestioned assumption in the reality of death never could. Death is an illusion. There is no such thing. Life is forever new and is always morphing into fresh expression.